INTO THE DANGER NOZE ... er ZONE!!!

Revvin up your engine
Listen to her howlin roar
Metal under tension
Beggin you to touch and go

Highway to the danger zone
Ride into the danger zone

First Up - thanks to everyone who helped me celebrate my 50th at the Glenmore - it was a humbling experience but I am more than capable to cope with that sort of attention. Fun Fun Fun!!!

A major part of the celebrations was the chance of a lifetime for me to fly a MiG jet and report back ......

The original plan was to pop me into a MiG flying out of Camden after Christmas with an outfit called Air Conkbat? Problem was that they didn't seem to have a MiG available - and pissed Vice President Porker about for a couple of months. So no MiG but plenty of stories and alternatives like an L39 jet trainer which I am sure would have been fun but compared to a MiG-15 is akin to offering a ride in a Hyundai Excel vs a Porsche 356.

We searched for an alternative and found MigJet Adventures in Rockhampton. I cashed in some frequent flyer points - the charming, beautiful and erstwhile companion Natalie was released from domestic duties as backup for the weekend - and off we flew to Rockhampton.

We camped for two nights in beautiful Blackdown National Park - which is a 600m high sandstone plateau some 800 metres above sea level and 3 hours drive from Rockie. We planned for the average Rockie temperatures of 17 - 25 - unfortunately the overnight temperature on Blackdown was 6 degrees - and no firewood - the red wine ran out fast.

So flight preparation was very commando like - no fire, cold sleep, cold breakfast, break camp - then a 3 hour drive from 6 degrees to 27 degrees. MigJet Adventures are run by Richard and Susie out of their own hangar at Rockie airport. Richard is a civil aviation pilot who makes his money out of crop dusting and the like. He saw the MiG-15 for sale 6 years previously - fell in love with it - and uses joy flights to keep his air show skills razor sharp.

The highlights of the safety debrief include:

• Signed a waiver so that CASA had no liability if I croaked.



• Rehearsing the parachute procedure
  
  1. Pilot: EJECT EJECT EJECT
     Me : EJECT EJECT EJECT
     Pilot: EJECT EJECT EJECT
     
     
  2. Pull the canopy release tabs and watch the canopy pulled off via the jet stream.
     
     
  3. When the canopy doesn't fly off - bash at it with both fists.
     
     
  4. When the canopy doesn't fly off again - Slide canopy back halfway and get out best you can.
     
     
  5. When the canopy doesn't slide back properly - get out best you can.
     
     
  6. ONLY climb out of the LEFT hand side of the plane???
     
     
  7. You may be close to the ground - so deploy chute after 3 'elephants' only.
     
     
  8. Do not deploy chute before 3 'elephants' - since you may be doing about 350 knots, and you would lose both your arms and legs to the parachute.
     
     
  9. Good Luck!
     
     
• Black out comes after grey out. Like everything gets a bit gray - then you start to see black spots - then the black room comes next. Your black out point changes day to day - luckily Richard the pilot knows his blackout point and will back off .... when required.
  
  
• The brakes on the MiG were also 50 years old - and a bit tired. And designed for a combat aircraft - so not really designed for longevity. On landing the co-pilot may be asked to assist the pilot by jamming down on the dual control brakes. BUT DONT LOCK THEM!
  
  
• The 'joy' flight will oscillate between -1 to 5.5 Gs - and with no pressure suit to help out - try to flex your lower body to keep the blood pushed up into your skull. Like pretend you are constipated and trying to force out a house brick sized block (and I hope you didn't have a vegie curry last night).
  
  
• Maybe hang onto the seat belt with both hands - so that when you are getting tossed about you don't flick a switch, joystick, failsafe by accident - especially on the RIGHT hand side of the cockpit???
  
  
• And the last bit of advice is 'try not to black out - when you recover consciousness you will have no idea where you are - you will wake in fright - completely disoriented - and it's always a BAD BAD look on video.'
  
  

Needless to say there were a few other bits and pieces like pins, failsafes, switches,intercoms and other paraphenalia to remember - but anyway onto to details and impressions of the flight.

First impressions of the plane are that the MiG is compact and a beaut looking device. The lines - like mine - may be 50 years old - but it looks the business in every way - like a Porsche 356 or Jag XK 150 . The cockpit is pretty small and your knees end up near your ears but it's okay and irrelevant under combat. Reassuringly, many of the instruments are the original Russian ones. Nyet Worries!

It's hot up in the air - I was happy it was well past summer in Rockie. There's a faint smell of kero mixed in with the cockpit which had plenty of air swirling around in it. The aerobatics go through $1,400 worth of fuel in the 20 minutes - so it's all full throttle stuff.

The initial climb is really quick compared to say a 747 - but it's only by sight - not feeling. The feeling starts when the aerobatics start. The G's are not really painful - but it's an effort to concentrate on enjoying the experience while pretending to push a brick out.

Just for the record - I told Richard that the flight was a gift and the people that shouted me would be disappointed if he didn't hurt me.

I think I blacked out for a nano second in the 2nd last turn home - like a nano nap in a boring board meeting or Uni lecture. I was feeling a bit bilious by that stage - the empty belly didn't help with a load of sweat and effort and it got to me a little bit in the end - but luckily I had SFA to gurgle up. Back on the ground I had to sit down for a minute or two to get my head and stomach back together. A cheese sadwich and hour before would be a good idea if you ever do it.

At the end of it all I was pretty glad to have a backup driver - thankyou Nat. After half an hour and a bit of a feed I felt fine - after a couple of beers I was feeling stupendous.

It was spectacular fun - and it's a terriffic once in a lifetime chance - I'd recommend it and the MigJet Adventures take on it to anyone. Plus sunny, friendly Rockie is a beaut place for a break anyway.

Below are links to the photos and the videos on YouTube. If you ever want to find the videos on YouTube - type in bignoze50 in the search bar.


http://www.bignoze.com/php/photogal.php?photodir=/var/www/html/albums.php/bignoze.photos/migjet.in.rockie.photos/



Thanks again and have a beaut Xmas and a Happy New Year.

Cheers

BigNoZe